20121020

Alter Ego



As I stood there mouth opening and closing, words coming out one by one just not the words I wanted to speak. Mean while chaos had broken out in my mind. A war had started. This civil war within my head, feels like an eternity. Contradictions, disagreements, unspoken words, all raging up in my head. Up and down they go, running in this labyrinth called my mind. Who am I? I am you, and you are me. We are, but two within these walls.


It started 3 years ago. I'm aware why it emerged, and what caused it. What I wrote above pretty much describes what I feel when faced with certain situations.  is the heartless, part of me. We are the polar opposites. What I sometimes fear is how heartless she can be. It is also my defense mechanism. There came a time in my life when I was afraid of the cold hearted person I was becoming. I had turned into someone who had forgotten and left behind their values, their beliefs, what they once stood up for, and strived for. My friends noticed that I was no longer the kind person they had once met and brought them together. I had become a stranger to them, and to myself. I realized this when I saw her eyes, her eyes told me everything that she could not say. Those eyes were not looking at me, but a stranger within me. That is when I made the decision to separate both parts of me. The one who I used to be and the one who I had become. Truthfully it took me a year to get the other part of me back, it proved very difficult.

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